By Johnny
. . . In his own words
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Christie’s:
The Personal Property of Marlon Brando
Introduction
by Johnny Depp
Christie’s Catalogue
New York
Thursday 30 June 2005
OF
ALL THE
LEVELS OF CONNECTION,
the
most consistent was
humor. Humor, often meaning practical
jokes. 
There was no one
more gifted in this arena or as skilled a craftsman as
Marlon. He
possessed the
sense of humor—which we both shared—of a
child. I once asked him why it was
that farts were always funny. He replied, “Because they are
blatantly
anti-social.”
He once asked if I would play a small part in a film he was going to do in Ireland. I agreed and asked if I shouldn't maybe take a look at a script. He advised me not to worry about it; I was simply going to play a journalist from ‘Rolling Stone’ magazine in New York. Simple enough, I concurred.
Friday evening, upon arrival, I was invited to dinner at his place. I had hidden in my pocket a brilliant little rubber device that, once mastered and properly lubricated, would emit the most genuine-sounding farts in the history of counterfeit fart noises.
He
graciously greeted me at the front
door and welcomed me
in. As
we approached the den,
I
put a firm squeeze on the contraption. BRRRTTTT.
A quizzical look from Marlon. “Very good,
John.” We sat on the couch.
“Sorry, I ate something weird on the plane, I'm having a
little"
BBBZZZRRRTT! Once again. “Jesus, John, what the hell did you
eat???”
PPPHHHHRRRTTT!!!
I kept him going for a good half-hour and only let up when his laughter turned to an expression of worry and he was reaching for the phone to get a doctor. “Ah . . . that's not normal, John, you're not well. You're sick. You're ripping about three beauties a minute and . . . ah that's just not right.”
My
own tear-filled laughter gave up
the charade. I reached into
my pocket and revealed the culprit. Marlon's
face lit up like a
Christmas tree,
the smile of a five-year-old. I handed the fart unit to him. He held it
up to
the light and exclaimed, “I've found God!!!” I was
so proud that, after a
couple of years of being on the receiving end of Marlon's practical
jokes, I
was finally able to swing back and connect big-time. But we were both
winners,
as the fart machine became a source of entertainment for many years.
After dinner, he informed me that since I was to begin shooting the film on Monday, I would need to meet the director tomorrow, Saturday. The next afternoon we went through a few costume possibilities and I was introduced to Tom, our director.
“How do you do? Nice to meet you. How's the accent coming?”
“What????”
I can
still feel the look on my face and the
panic that surged through my body. “What
accent??!!” Tom looked at me
quizzically; he recognized my panic as well as I did.
“The Dublin accent. Didn't you read the script? You're playing a reporter from Dublin!” I, officially, now had less than a day and a half to come up with a decent Irish accent before 5 a.m. Monday. Marlon nearly split himself in two laughing. He'd been planning this rotten trick for months.
Johnny
Depp
Lot 216 DON JUAN DEMARCO, 1995
A
collection of material relating
to Don Juan DeMarco, including:
—a script, the title page printed with the working title Don Juan DeMarco And The Centerfold, An Original
Screenplay by Jeremy
Leven, Based in part on “Don Juan” by Lord Byron,
including several pages
of script revisions, various dates 13 March—6 May, 1994,
108pp. of mimeographed
typescript, with some amendments to the script in pencil in an unknown
hand;
—10 revised script pages dated 20 December, 1993, three pages
annotated in red
felt pen or ballpoint pen with amendments to the script in
Brando’s hand,
additionally annotated with amendments in an unknown hand;
—a scene breakdown, in blue paper covers, 24pp. of
mimeographed typescript;
—three letters from Director, Jeremy Leven to Marlon Brando,
one a typescript letter
on Jeremy Leven . . . headed
stationery, signed, dated 4 July, 1994, encouraging Brando in the final
stages
of filming; one a hand-written note on Juno
Pictures Inc headed stationery, telling Brando a
few scenes dropped that were not essential . . .trims and tucks to
keep things moving. And a new scene for you—small but
endearing, I believe . .
. 1p.; and a fax, dated 21 September, 1994, regarding
voiceovers and the
first screening, 1p.;
—a Xerox of a typescript letter from the film’s
producer, Francis Ford Coppola,
Hi Marlon . . . “Don Juan”
is coming
along—it’s different and quite enjoyable. We
preview it again in a few days in
Santa Monica and I think it will go over pretty well, 1p.;
—seven colour and one black and white portrait photographs of
Marlon Brando as
Dr. Mickler and Johnny Depp as Don Juan, largest—14x11in.
(35.5x28cm.);
—a quantity of press and promotional material, including: two
colour press kits,
various Xeroxes of press clippings and three copies of Variety magazine
containing articles relating to the film;
—a large quantity of production paperwork including: call
sheets, staff/crew
lists, and faxed correspondence between Brando’s office, New
Line Cinema and
others; and related material.
Lot 213 THE BRAVE, 1997
A
collection of material
relating to The Brave, including:
—a draft shooting script, dated June, 1996, 94pp. of
mimeographed typescript,
with with paper I.C.M. covers, with two pages annotated in red
ballpoint pen in
Brando’s hand with additions and amendments to the script
including:
—page 16: next to Raphael’s statement that his wife
is Mexican, Brando has
written Most Mex are Indians;
—page 17: next to Raphael’s speech regarding
spirits, Brando has added I’m a
religious person, helping people. Seduction,
not an easy sell . . .;
—a revised shooting script, dated 16 August, 1996;
—a quantity of loose revised script pages for
McCarthy’s speech, approximately
66 pages of mimeographed typescript, some duplicates, with
approximately 5
pages annotated in Brando’s hand, including next to
McCarthy’s threatening
speech to Raphael, Brando has inserted .
. . good Americans who put a lot of sweat into this country.
We’re not going to
lose it to wet little farts like you . . ., two pages
accompanied by a fax
header with a note written in Johnny Depp’s hand regarding
the attached pages;
—a transcription of a conversation between Brando and Johnny
Depp regarding the
script, 7pp. of mimeographed typescript;
—two faxes from Johnny Depp to Brando, one with 6 pages of
Xeroxes of notes of
the film in Depp’s hand, the other addressed to
Merlin Braindough, from YNNHOJ PPED, enclosing an article
regarding the release of the film at Cannes Film festival; and related
material.
Editor’s
note: The fax pictured above reads as follows:
To:
Merlin Braindough
From: YNNHOJ PPED
Merlin= Thought you might like to have a gander at this. It looks like
we’ve
riled them up a bit. More to follow I’m sure. Hope all is
well with you.
Much love and confusion – Johnny.
P.S.= The opening night of the film went very well. Great response. The
press
have either shit on it, or applauded it. Very extreme responses. Also
the photo
of Andrew Jackson is not him!? Go figure. J.D.
The Zone would like to thank Helen Hall, Vice President and Head of
Entertainment Memorabilia for Christie's, New York, for her kindness
and generosity. Not only did Ms. Hall graciously acquiesce to our
request for permission to include Johnny's reminiscence about Marlon
Brando in the JDZ Archives—she even sent us a copy of the
auction
catalogue! We are very grateful to Ms. Hall and to Christie's for
allowing us to share the catalogue entries with Johnny Depp fans all
over the world.
If you reprint this material, please include a
thank-you to Christie's, as well as the Zone, in your acknowledgements.